2004年1月3日 星期六

我的住院日誌 (by 羊肉爐作者)

本人目前還在住院中,剛剛好不容易能上網了,所以順便

                                                                               

把自己在病房內多日來的辛酸史和大家分享

                                                                               

============

                                                                               

這是我這輩子最幹的一次經驗,我甚至立誓今年不再吃羊

                                                                               

肉爐了,但是沒想到光住院就住到年底。希望大家都能平

                                                                               

平安安,以下是我整個受傷和住院的經過。我透過日記的

                                                                               

方式將一個站在第一線的燙傷病患在病院的艱辛經歷以及

                                                                               

內心的感受用最寫實的方式和語氣記錄下來,希望看完後

                                                                               

大家能以我為鑑,絕對不要再輕忽自己的健康了

                                                                               

2003 12.7

                                                                               

大約晚上八九點左右我把早上買的羊肉爐速食包加熱完後,

                                                                               

正想要好好看部電影順便在這寒冷的夜裡好好沈浸在羊

                                                                               

肉爐的美味之中,只是我絕對沒想到,我會沈浸的如此

                                                                               

徹底。

                                                                               

在加熱完後,我將熱騰騰的羊肉鍋搬到電腦螢幕前準備

                                                                               

好好享受一番,我用筷子在鍋裡翻攪了一陣,選出了一塊

                                                                               

瘦肥適中,色澤鮮潤的羊肉塊,於是我滿懷著興奮期待,

                                                                               

就要吞下我的第一口犧牲品。當時的我左手拿著鍋子,右

                                                                               

手夾著肉塊,而就肉塊即將入口的一瞬間,我的左手因鍋

                                                                               

子把柄沾滿油,結果一不小心,整鍋油嚕嚕的羊肉爐就這

                                                                               

樣翻進了我大腿與大腿之間,沒錯,也就是俗稱小雞雞的

                                                                               

所在地,胯下。

                                                                               

當時的我沒有想太多,身體還是直覺地硬是將右手的肉塊

                                                                               

塞進嘴裡,但是不到零點一秒的時間我就把它從嘴裡噴了

                                                                               

出去,不虧是我精挑細選的肉塊,在螢幕上彈了一下後又

                                                                               

打到我的頭,。

                                                                               

"棍!!!!燙死我了啊~~~~”

                                                                               

我在心裡吶喊著,天啊這是什麼狀況,我這輩子還沒有這

                                                                               

麼疼痛過,痛到我完全沒多餘的心思花在嘴巴上的咒罵,

                                                                               

我快速的把褲子連同內褲脫下來,在寢室跪了下來,身體

                                                                               

還不自主的在發抖

                                                                               

"不能昏倒,要不然醒來時我小雞雞鐵定七分熟了"

                                                                               

於是我勉強撐著冰箱站起來,往胯下一看,不看還好,

                                                                               

看了之後我整個人都呆住了

                                                                               

"這樣可以上社會新聞了吧" 我心裡這樣想

                                                                               

沒錯,我兩邊大腿內側的皮全部脫落,但是小雞雞尤其嚴重,

                                                                               

因為在包皮上很明顯裂了一個十元硬幣大,而且是吃的很

                                                                               

深的傷口,而雞雞的其它部位則也幾乎全部燙掉一層薄皮,

                                                                               

看到這種狀況,我二話不說就拿起電風扇開始狂吹,這時

                                                                               

我腦袋想著

                                                                               

A....怎麼辦,我還沒用過耶?

                                                                               

是的,我居然還在搞笑,媽的…‥

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